Human Behaviour…mixing metaphor with physics and a little chorizo on the side

Some people, like water, can drift through the 3 states of matter and, in a few remarkable cases, exist in all three simultaneously. This is not a spiritual revelation but a conclusion reached after years of observation on city streets, shopping malls and grocery stores.

Watch how 30 people scattered about the sidewalk like iron filings pull into a single fluid mass at the application of the Number 12 bus.

The closer the bus gets, the larger the group becomes until the combined gravitation force of people and bus start sucking individuals out from nearby doorways and small shops. Eventually the people move into a linear formation above and below the magnetic pole that holds the bus schedule.  When the driver’s door opens, the fluid mass enters and assumes the shape of the bus interior.

The solid behaviour state can exist within that same bus when two or three people standing half between the front and center doors take root, crystallise, and prevent any further movement by others towards to the empty back of the bus. This acts as an artificial altering of the configuration of the container and increases pressure on the contents substantially.

It is also possible for 2 people to take up the sidewalk previously occupied by 30 people in what I think of as the gas state. They move in such a way as to take up the entire space by virtue of random lateral motion so that anyone following, despite a faster forward speed, is unable to dodge past them.

I have encountered multiple state behaviour in a variety of places. Standing on an escalator riding smoothly when 2 people on the step just ahead of mine sublimate from gas into solid matter. This invariably happens just past the point where the moving stairs transition to non-moving. The result is a kinetic affect on all the people still on the escalator making their final approach to ladies lingerie and sporting goods.

Just the other day I observed one couple in the local grocery store occupy the meat counter from mid-poultry through the entire beef section. They were making an in-depth study of the subtle differences between the varieties of sausage and which permutation would have the greatest affect on their dinner. As well as factoring in spiciness it was necessary to recombine each variety with the various vegetable permutations (including rice vs potatoes) and salad or coleslaw.

He would hold up two packages of mild Italian sausages calculating costs, while she ranged back and forth to see if some other sausage iteration could be found nestled underneath the family pack of chicken thighs or by the round roasts.

They would stand side by side, a solid barrier of oblivion blocking any attempt by others to wedge past them and, by sheer luck, poach the holy grail of bangers. Moving apart and together again every motion called for a another dig down to an as yet unplumbed striation of sausage strata.

I noodled around waiting patiently for an opportunity to grab a package of ground beef. I went off to fetch a dozen eggs, butter, cheese, flat bread,  returning each time to check on their progress. Finally, after venturing as far as the produce department I returned to see them moving like a high pressure front into the low pressure area of the dairy coolers.

As I went back through the store picking up a few more sundry items I continued to encounter the alternating blocking and flowing motions of this couple. They wore matching Tilley hats,  beige wind breakers, red polo shirts, white fanny packs, dockers and sensible walking shoes.

The last place I encountered them on this particular morning was at the check out. Only 2 cashiers were working at that time. I got in line and noticed the Tilley hat couple were ahead of me, debating with the cashier about the price of a can of beans. Then they were sure those 2 apples were gala and on sale and these 2 were the fuji…not on sale…

The trainee cashier held up admirably but did seem slightly shaken after pressing “total” only to see Mrs. Tilley Hat laying out several coupons.  No doubt this was invaluable training experience for her and the other cashier who had to come over to help match up items,  sort out the expired coupons and review the procedures for entering codes in order to re-total.

I managed to get my groceries bagged and paid for just in time to meet up with the Tilley Hats at the wide open automatic doors where they were finishing up checking their till tape and re-packing the bags in the cart…

Some days I’m in a hurry, some days I’m not. At all times, I hope I continue to be blessed with awareness of the richness of humanity  around me. I hope I am treated with more tolerance and greater patience than I deserve. And some days, the most I can I pray for is that they never, ever, find out what I’m thinking.

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