Stop me if you’ve heard this one before:“Oh dear, have you seen mmmblmblmblmmmmblll maybe with the blardleblast dear????”
“Pardon me?, I didn’t quite catch that…?”
“The RED ONE…you know, it was mamlbllblbllblmmmmbl ..or under mmmbmbbmbmmb”
“Sorry, dear, I still didn’t get that- you were looking under the table when you…”
“THE RED ONE…YOU KNOW, THE RED BAG WITH ALL THE …oh, never mind, I’ll use this…mutter mutter deaf old broad…”
“I heard that…”
And so it goes. Your hearing, that is. But the irony is that it seems like everything I don’t want to hear is getting louder. Traffic on the street rumbles, roars more. Don’t they make mufflers anymore? And so I turn up my Ipod because the bus sneaks up, I swear, just as the Sherlock Holmes is about to reveal the murderer is… rummmbllellleeell screeech, rev rev….and that’s when I noticed the bullet was really made of gutta percha, Watson….
I knew I was getting older when a classic 
black GTO went blasting down the street and my first reaction was, “slow down, I’m trying to listen to my program….jackass”.
It isn’t just that the noise is loud, it is irritating. And I’m sure I taught my kids to speak up. And my husband is doing that turning his head while talking to me thing just to make me think I’m going deaf.
- Other people seem to mumble.
- People often have to repeat things for you.
- You have difficulty understanding what is being said in noisy places.
- It is hard to keep up with group conversation and you get tired because you have to concentrate so much.
- Other people think your television or music is too loud.
- You often have difficulty hearing on the telephone.
I may have a quibble or two with some of the points: 1) other people do mumble, dammit. They turn their head away and mumble or slur or run their words together – the Boomhauer effect (see King of the Hill for further explanation and then count the number
of Boomhauers you meet on any given day…sometimes at the dinner table).
What did he say?
2) I have had difficulty understanding what is being said in noisy places for many years…since I was a teenager, in fact and started hanging out in noisy places. I always thought the reason I had for not hearing what was being said was because I was in a noisy place…Who knew I was, ah, mature beyond my years.
Also, I should like to point out, regarding tv, I find it’s other people who have it too loud. Right dear?….And the kids these days play their music way too loud…oh crap, that was supposed to be an inside my head thought…
So, if you’re a wee bit curious, insecure or want to answer the snarky voice shouting at you from across the room…”My hearing is fine, dear…why don’t you check yours…” poke around the RNID.org site.
And if you’re wondering why I’m not using a comparable Canadian site, it is because the Canadian Hearing Society seems to be contained entirely within the borders of Ontario (and therein lies a whole other rant) and the Canadian Association of the Deaf focuses on the people who are already deaf.
what...what did they say?
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